


When We Meet Again

by the_mutated_knight



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M, i'll leave a link for it in the summary!, kid AU, kid au by earthprincewu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-05-30 09:55:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6419209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_mutated_knight/pseuds/the_mutated_knight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See the kid au here, and follow the WONDERFUL person behind this concept!: http://earthprincewu.tumblr.com</p><p>Garrett Hawke had lived in Lothering his whole life, learning to control his powers with the help of his father, Malcolm. His village was small and rarely got any new residents. When there WERE new residents, Malcolm Hawke was the first to hear about it. So when a new elf family came into town, Garrett's father went right to his mother, Leandra. </p><p>Garrett couldn't help but overhear their conversation. If there was a new family, he had to meet them. He knew everyone in Lothering, and he wasn't going to leave these new people out of the equation. </p><p>But Maker, he couldn't have guessed how it would have went from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who is THAT?!

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fenhawke Kid AU](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/188143) by earthprincewu aka the lovely Toby. 



"MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!"

 

Oh, Maker, would Carver ever stop complaining? Hawke rolled his eyes and called out from his seat on the porch, "It's fine, Mother! Forget he called you! Everything's alright out here!"

 

"Garrett!" Carver whined, looking at his older brother with a hilariously frustrated expression on his face.

 

"All Bethany did was pick a flower."

 

"It had a _bee_ on it! She shoved it in my face!"

 

"It did _NOT!_ " Bethany retorted, standing and running to Hawke to show him, "See! No bees!"

 

The smile she gave him was so proud that he had to smile in return. He took the flower from her hand and tucked her hair behind her ear, putting the flower there to hold it back. Bethany smiled and hugged him, giggling in amusement at the act. 

 

"The bee FLEW AWAY!" Carver insisted, stomping his foot.

 

"Now now, Carver. No need to accuse Bethany of things just to get her in trouble," Garrett sighed, standing one he got Bethany to release him from her embrace. He moved over to the older Hawke twin, lifting him up into his arms. With one arm under his legs and one on his back, he gave a mocking scowl to his younger brother, who huffed, puffing out his cheeks as he crossed his arms and looked away. Bethany ran to him and hugged his legs, smiling brightly up to him. Garrett couldn't help but smile and laugh while Carver let out a sigh to get the air out of his cheeks, looking to the grass.

 

"Children, come get something to eat! Your mother just finished making soup and a fresh loaf of bread," Malcolm called to his kids, heading poking out from around the door. 

 

Garrett smiled to Bethany and said, "I bet I can beat you to the house... _while carrying Carver_."

 

"Wait, what?! I can walk myself, Garrett! Let me show you!" Carver said, trying to push his way out of Garrett's hold.

 

"I know you can but... not a chance," Hawke laughed. 

 

"No way! I'm way faster than you, Garrett!" Bethany laughed, ignoring Carver's complaints and beginning her way to the house almost immediately.

 

"Hey, that's cheating!" The brunette gasped in mock surprise, immediately sprinting after Bethany with a screaming and protesting Carver tucked against his chest. Bethany always started races without him.

 

Of course, since Bethany had started first, she got there before him. She had her false head start, which she _always_ did. Malcolm had run to meet her at the bottom of the porch stairs, leaning down and scooping her up with no problem. He lifted her high into the air and she squealed, laughing as he spun her around then pulled her close to him. He poked her nose and smiled to her, watching Garrett come in a close second place.

 

"See, big brother? I told you I was faster!" Bethany said with triumph, giving a proud smile as Malcolm nuzzled her cheek.

 

"You started without me!" Garrett pointed out, setting Carver down and crossing his arms.

 

"That is true, Bethany," Malcolm said, which caused Bethany to cross her arms as her own silent complaint of her father's agreement, " _But_ that doesn't mean you didn't win, Sunshine."

 

Bethany smiled again, knowing she'd won in her father's eyes.

 

They went back inside where Leandra was setting bowls full of warm soup on the table. Each of them took their seat, with Malcolm at the head of their table. Lunch never took very long, because they were too hungry to even think about speaking. Well... at least that's how it was for the kids. Leandra and Malcolm always spoke about something, although they managed to get something out of their kids every once in a while. It wasn't very often that they managed it, but when they did, Carver would ramble, Bethany would answer politely then go back to eating, and Garrett spoke with food still in his mouth, excited to just get an answer out. His mother scorned him for it, but his father simply chuckled and continued to eat. Lunch was always nice in the Hawke household.

 

Garrett was done with his soup and bread in a matter of minutes, though,  and he jumped up to get an apple after getting permission to leave the table by his mother. 

 

"Garrett, you just ate," Leandra sighed, standing to take the apple from him.

 

"But motherrrrr!" Garrett sighed, shoulders drooping. 

 

"Leandra, he was so excited for these apples he came with me to pick them up this morning. I told him he could have one after lunch." Malcolm sighed, taking his wife's hand to keep her where she was.

 

After a moment's thought, she sighed and sat down again. "If you're still hungry Garrett, you may have it." 

 

Garrett smiled and took the apple, running back outside to sit on the porch after thanking them. Not even a minute later he was followed by Bethany and Carver, who went back to playing with their toys in the yard. Carver with his wooden warriors, and Bethany with her stuffed doll. Garrett took a large bite from the apple, smiling as he watched Carver and Bethany play. He swallowed the apple after a moment then sighed, feeling the gentle breeze blow across his face.

 

He sat like this for minutes on end sometimes. Which, evidently, he ended up doing now. Just thinking, wondering about the most random things. Could mabari do tricks? Could mabari breath fire if you taught them to? Would a mabari play tag with you and not hurt you when it catches you?

 

He was snapped from his thoughts when he heard his father speak from inside.

 

"-- new. I've never seen them before, but they sounded foreign. They're definitely not from Ferelden," Malcolm said, "They had very Tevene accents, if I remember correctly."

 

"Tevinter? Why would they come here from Tevinter?" Leandra asked. Garrett heard her put their dirty dished into the large wooden container she cleaned in. They splashed on impact. She must have put water in it after they went outside. 

 

"I'm not sure. They might be refugees... they seemed kind enough, though. I gave the mother a silver. She was trying to buy food at the tavern, but she barely had anything in her coin purse." 

 

"You gave them a silver? Malcolm---"

 

"It was the right thing to do, Leandra. If you had seen them, you'd know. Trust me, they needed it much more than we did. They've come a long way, and they deserve to have a bit of extra coin on them to spare. I just hope they had enough to get a room for the night or something of that nature." 

 

"I..." His mother paused to sigh, "I suppose you're right... You said 'mother'. She has children?" 

 

"Two. They didn't seem to want to speak much. Her little redhead looked like she wanted to kick me in the shin, but her son... he was a very kind young man," His father chuckled as he mentioned the girl, but paused a moment when speaking of her son, "He's around Garrett's age by the looks of him. Still, he was quite timid. I can't blame him, being in a new place and all. He was practically stuck to his mother's side, holding his sister's shoulder the whole time. Lothering must look strange to him, coming from Tevinter... or from Tevinter as far as I'm aware. I didn't speak with his mother long enough to find out if that's really where they were from."

 

Garrett stopped listening then. A new family? In Lothering? Well, obviously he had to meet them now. Who could blame him for being curious about these newcomers? He was curious about nearly anything, so of course he wanted to meet them, or at least see who they were. How often did a small village like Lothering get new residents? To answer that question, not many. Not only that, but there were kids. New friends, maybe? Only one way to find out.

 

Hawke stood and called, "Mother, Father, I'm going out for a little bit! I'll be home before dinner, I promise!" 

 

"Alright Garrett! Be careful," His father responded a moment later. 

 

With that, Garrett jumped from his spot, taking another bite of his apple. He waved to his younger siblings before running around the house and to the street. It wasn't bustling with activity, but there were a couple people outside doing daily chores, such as washing clothes or tending to gardens. When he was noticed, they would smile to him and wave, and he'd wave back. He finished his apple as he took his leisurely stroll to the tavern from his home. He snapped the core in half, picking the apple seeds out to plant later. No need to waste them. It just meant more apples later. He and apples had a love hate relationship as years went by, and right now, their relationship was love. He loved them right now, and was always excited to get more apples from the farmer down the road. 

 

The seeds were tucked safely into his pocket as he approached the tavern. The young brunette pushed the door open, walking through the small hallway. He never liked the tavern very much, but his father had told him 'that'll change when you get older'. He couldn't see that happening. He put both hands on the opening to the main area of the tavern, poking his head around the corner to look around. Amber eyes only spotted familiar faces at first, but then he looked the other way.

 

An elven woman with beautiful chestnut skin and cascading brown hair stood at the tavern counter as the bar tender checked a book, possibly the records for what rooms were taken and empty. In her cupped hands were a few coppers, offered to the man as he checked his book. Beside her stood what looked to be her son, arms around his sister. She was glaring at anyone who dared to look at her with stormy grey eyes, which was a bit deterring. She held onto her brother's chest. Her brother looked down at her sighing and pushing her fiery red hair behind her ear. 

 

Then he looked to the son completely. He was skinny and lanky, sort of like himself, but more so than Garrett. His skin was a shade darker than his mother's, and so was his hair. He seemed to be a little nervous, but he took a protective stance over his sister regardless. He didn't notice much other than that... 

 

Until the elf looked up. 

 

Green. Emerald green eyes. 

 

Hawke felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw them, sparkling and beautiful. He'd never seen eyes more beautiful than his.. and that small smile. The small smile that lingered on the young elf's face as he scanned the area of the new place he'd more than likely be calling home soon. Oh, Maker, how beautiful he was. Garrett knew he was blushing now, jaw dropping and eyes widening in sheer amazement. He didn't think he'd be so... handsome. Garrett felt his heart skip a beat in his chest as the elf looked to him, pulling his sister closer to him and brightening his smile a bit as he noticed the other looking to him. 

 

Garrett quickly flung his body around the corner to hide, staring at the wall. He couldn't tell if the elf knew, or if even he _himself_   knew, but from that day on...

 

Garrett was his.  


	2. Good going, Hawke... good going...

He ran.

 

Oh how he ran. 

 

He pushed the tavern door open as quickly as he could, sprinting down the road and back to his house. Garrett ended up in the backyard, and he allowed himself to flop down onto the ground while making some... strange noise that was a combination of a scream and a groan. He planted his face into the ground, continuing to make the sound into the grass and dirt. He laid there, making this noise even as Bethany ran to his aid. 

 

"Garrett?! Garrett are you ok?!" Bethany asked, clear alarm in her voice. 

 

"Of course he's ok. He's just screaming." Carver sighed, crossing his arms. 

 

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Was Garrett's only response, though he had to breath in deeply to continue making the noise. That caused dirt to come into his mouth and he choked on it a bit, finally sitting up and changing his noise to one of disgust as he lifted the collar of his shirt to wipe dirt off his tongue. Of course he'd do something like that. Now he was just more embarrassed.

 

"You... you wanted to eat dirt?" Carver asked, looking confused.

 

"Eeeewwww..." Bethany stuck out her tongue with disgust after vocalizing her displeasure at the thought.

 

"Of course not..." Garrett mumbled, shaking his head after he was sure he got all the dirt out of his mouth, "It's none of your business." 

 

"It is too!" Carver insisted with an indignant huff.

 

"Is _NOT!_ " 

 

"IS _TOO!_ " 

 

"Boys!" Malcolm Hawke stepped outside, walked down the stairs of the porch and stopping in front of his sons, "Don't argue. There's no need for that... Carver, leave your brother alone. Garrett, how about you come inside and tell us about your outing. It was sure to be interesting if you returned so quickly." 

 

"What?! He'll tell _you_ but not _me?!_ " Carver gasped, shoving his arms at his sides with his small hands balled up into fists, "Unfair!!!" 

 

"Now, Carver, he doesn't have to tell us either. It's his choice. If you had wanted to know what your brother was up to, you should have went with him." Malcolm sighed before taking his eldest son's hand in his own and taking him inside after ruffling both the twin's hair. 

 

Garrett didn't tell his parents about his outing. Well, he didn't tell them what happened exactly. He didn't lie though. He mentioned finishing the apple and gave his father the apple seeds. After explaining he'd really only wanted to go for a walk (completely untrue), he was sent to wash up for bed by his mother. He, of course, listened to her and did as asked. He almost made it upstairs without having to wash the red smudge he loved to paint across his nose, but Leandra caught him before he was able to. He groaned in complaint in having to wash it off, but did it anyways. Once he did that, he went upstairs, changed into his pajamas, and climbed into his bed. He ended up staring at the ceiling, lost in thought completely. He didn't even snap out of his thoughts when Bethany and Carver noisily made their way into their beds, which were in the same room as his own. He kept thinking back to... well...

 

Those _eyes_. The way the light caught them and made them look like two glorious emeralds. His smile was almost contagious, no, it WAS contagious. He was smiling just thinking about it right now. He seemed so kind based on his looks, his smile, the look in his eyes... he looked _so nice_... in more ways than one. He sighed as he settled into bed more, shutting his eyes. Maker, would this elf ever leave his mind? Garrett wondered if sleeping would get him to stop thinking about him...

 

* * *

 

 

No. The elf would never leave his mind. 

 

He woke up and his first thought was, _'Should I try and talk to the elf with the pretty eyes today?'_.

 

The answer?

 

Yes. Yes he should. 

 

He jumped out of bed, quickly yanking the first outfit he could find on and running into his father's room, grabbing his can of red face paint. He smeared some of it on his thumb, then smeared it right across his nose with practiced ease. He looked into his father's mirror and smiled before running downstairs to find a wash cloth to wipe the paint off with.

 

He saw his father sitting there, the same red stripe across his nose. Malcolm smiled to him affectionately when he noticed he was once again sporting a twin streak on his nose, chuckling and pointing to the wash basin. "Wash cloth's there, son." 

 

The brunette nodded and went over to it, dipping it into the cold water then wiping the paint off his thumb. 

 

"Going on an adventure today, I see. You're up quite early," His father pointed out, gesturing out the window. The sun was barely over the horizon, the sky painted in pastel oranges and pinks, only hints of blue hues. 

 

"Of course. What else would I be doing if I were up this early?" Garrett asked, smiling. 

 

"Oh, I don't know. Looks to me like you'd beee...." Malcolm propped his elbow onto the table, rubbing his chin in pretend thought, "Slaying a dragon?" 

 

Garrett laughed, responding, "I wish!" 

 

"No dragon?! I could have _sworn_ \---" 

 

"Father!!"

 

"Wasn't there a dragon down the road only a few days ago?"

 

"No! There's never been a dragon here!" 

 

"You must have slayed it already then. Not even a dragon stands a chance against Garrett Hawke." 

 

"I never even saw it...! _You_ must have slayed it!"

 

" _Me?!_ Never. I would run away screaming to your mother."

 

Garrett laughed and ran to his father, hugging him. The embrace was returned tightly until Malcolm growled, moving away from Garrett and summoning fire in his hands. 

 

Malcolm's son knew this all too well. He backed up and summoned magic in his own hands, ice. "You shall not defeat me, foul creature!" 

 

"Is that so?!" Malcolm asked, deepening his voice to give it more of a growl, He sent only a little bit of fire at Garrett, pretending he was blowing fire at him.

 

Garrett shot ice at the fire, which put it out and evaporated the ice. He smiled and laughed for a moment, before jumping and squeaking in surprise as his father began to chase him around the kitchen. He always did that, but it always managed to startle him somehow. He laughed  and shot ice back at his dad, but before they could manage to do much, his mother came downstairs, sighing. 

 

"What did I say about magical fire in the house?" Leandra asked, crossing her arms. 

 

Both Garrett and Malcolm stopped, straightening their posture and hanging their heads. The stopped using their magic and put their hands behind their backs, saying, "Sorry Leandraaa..." 

 

Then they looked at each other with dorky little grins. They'd done it so many times now it was a habit. Garrett's mother only sighed and shook her head.

 

"Well, kiddo, if you have somewhere you want to go, then go. We'll be here when you get back. Promise." Malcolm told Garrett, ruffling his hair.

 

"I'll be back before lunch. Promise." Garrett responded, waving to his mother as he ran out the door and down the porch steps. 

 

The mage walked around Lothering now, going to the field past the farmer's land. There were a couple trees to hide behind here, and it was far enough away from Lothering that Malcolm took him and Bethany here to practice magic. He knew the area well. There was a lake further into the more foresty area, one that Bethany accidentally froze over completely once.. in the middle of summer. That had been extremely funny. There were also some blackberry bushes a bit to the left of where he was right now, but they wouldn't have been ripe now... or at least, he was pretty sure they wouldn't be ripe at this point. Which was a bummer... his mother always made the best pies with those blackberries. 

 

And then he almost ran into a tree. 

 

Andraste's flaming butt-cheeks, he should have been looking ahead of him instead of at the blackberries. He also should have eaten before he left. His lips tightened and his eyebrows furrowed a bit as he came to that conclusion, suddenly frustrated with himself. 

 

"Look, Leto!" A young girl's voice gasped. 

 

Leto? 

 

Hawke looked past the tree and there he was. Pretty eyed elf boy with his little sister curled up in his arms, eye wide with amazement as she watched a bright blue butterfly fly close to them. She must have been the one gasping, which meant...

 

"Yes, Varania, I see," Leto said, smiling as he looked at the butterfly, "It's a butterfly." 

 

"Well, I know that! But... look at it! It's so... pretty..." Varania responded, huffy at first, but soon entranced once more by the butterfly. 

 

Leto chuckled, smiling softly to his sister, "It is. Where do you think it's going?" 

 

Hawke hid behind the tree he nearly rammed his face into. Oh boy. It was him... his name was Leto. His little sister's name was Varania. At least he knew that now. He watched the pair, wondering if this was too creepy or not. He was going to go up to them and talk to them as soon as he could figure out something to say, so it wasn't _THAT_ creepy... right? 

 

"To flowers, of course," Varania said, as if it were obvious, "I'm gonna call it... Sky." 

 

"A lovely name," Leto responded, brushing Varania's hair behind her ear and playing with it absentmindedly. 

 

"It's wings match the sky, so it works!"

 

"Indeed. Would you like to go find a flower for Sky?" 

 

"Yes!" Varania smiled wide as she looked to her big brother.

 

Oh boy. Now was the time to say something, before they walked off. But.. but what do you say to a gorgeous elf with the prettiest eyes in all of Thedas?! He felt his face contort to show his confusion and nervousness in come expression form, and he could tell just by the way his face felt that it was not attractive. Great. Perfect.

 

Leto offered her his hand to take so they could stand, but he paused a moment, seeing a bit of movement from the corner of his eye. He looked up with his eyes, curious to know what it was. He was a bit confused for a second by the expression on his face, but he could tell the boy had just noticed him looking at him. The brunette's face immediately flushed pink, and Leto couldn't help but smile as his face went from confused and nervous to surprised and scared. He tried to look friendly as he smiled, waving a bit to him. The elf knew he was blushing, because he could hear Varania snickering. His sister always laughed at him when he blushed, but he was never sure why. 

 

When Leto waved, Hawke felt himself blushing more, but the _blush_. _Leto blushed_. Hawke let nearly screamed out of what felt like either embarrassment, some awkward form of endearment, or an confusing blend of the two. It came out as just some really weird sounding exhale, like a wheeze, and he quickly hid himself behind the tree. He slid down to the ground, burying his face in his knees. 

 

Hey, at least he'd made a noise at him. A hideous, hideous noise... but a noise. That was progress. Bad progress most likely, but progress. 

 

The embarrassed brunette sat there for what felt to him like years, but was really only a few minutes, before standing and peaking from behind the tree again. Leto and Varania were gone. Perfect... just... perfect. Garrett sighed, thinking to himself, _'Good going, Hawke, you didn't slay a dragon like your father had thought you would, but you definitely slayed your dignity'_.

 

He sighed, resting his head on the tree for a moment with disappointment. He blew it. He totally blew it, just like that fireball he'd managed to summon yesterday. He more than likely still had ash in his ears from that. He finally decided to walk away after thinking of the fireball. If he was comparing himself to that fireball, then he needed to go home. 

 

Garrett did just that. He went home. He practically raced there, trying to escape the area that signified one of his biggest embarrassments ever. Bethany saw him run into the yard, and she watched him closely, as if to make sure he wouldn't fling himself onto the ground again and inhale some dirt. He didn't, which caused her to relax a bit. He sat down on the stairs to the porch, watching Bethany and Carver play to try and clear his mind. He kept thinking back to Leto, and how he had those gorgeous eyes... and how he could never talk to him ever again after that disaster of a first impression. Maker, what was he thinking? He couldn't just go up to someone like him and... and _talk_! Who could do that?! 

 

Why was it so hard to talk to him? He was usually a very social kid! Why couldn't he just... talk to him? What was his problem? Why did his heart beat quicker around him? Why did he blush so easily around him? Why couldn't he just say 'hello'?

 

"GAAAARRRREEEEETTTTT!!!!" Carver yelled from the yard, standing up, "BETHANY WAS USING HER MAAAGGIIIICCCCC!!!"

 

"I was NOT!!!" Bethany retorted angrily, huffing (very cutely) and crossing her arms. 

 

"Bethany, no magic while playing! Don't make me get dad---" Garrett began to threaten.

 

"...I-Is your sister a mage...?" He heard someone ask, which cut him off promptly. He stiffened and blinked, scared he'd totally blown his little sister's cover before he looked over and saw none other than Leto, holding onto the railing of the porch and...

 

And talking to _him_. Right there... _to him_. 

 

He couldn't help when his jaw dropped a bit in surprise. Now that he was closer to Leto, he couldn't help but notice how much prettier he was. His hair fell perfectly around his dark face, and when he smiled, it was if every wish he'd ever had was granted in one living moment. Of course, he always noticed those eyes. Those beautiful eyes, green as the grass he stood on. Beautiful as always... and much prettier up close. 

 

"Ah... hello. Sorry, I was just wondering because my sister is a mage too. My name is Leto... I saw you earlier, right?" Leto continued, introducing himself. 

 

Oh... oh Maker he wasn't prepared to respond. What... what was he supposed to say? Oh, dang, he probably looked incredibly dumb right now, just staring at Leto cluelessly. He had to say something before the elf got concerned... something... anything.. make it charming. Yes, that would work. Go for charming. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

 

"Yeah she is I'm a mage too my brother isn't though hahahahahah yeah you did see me I saw you too with your little sister when I was behind that tree your name is Leto? Hi Leto nice to meet you my name is Garrett Hawke but you can call me Hawke or Garrett I mean whatever you prefer really it's up to you has anyone told you your eyes are really green and pretty because they are hahahhahaaa......" 

 

Oh Maker. Maker, give him mercy...

 

He shut his mouth, knowing he was blushing more than he ever wished he would have. Leto must think he's crazy or something now. 

 

To his surprise, Leto didn't look uncomfortable. He actually smiled _more_. He actually _laughed_ , putting a hand up to his mouth like he could cover his smile as he blushed. Maker preserve Garrett, this elf was adorable. 

 

"Pffffttt.... W-Well I... Thank you, Hawke... Garrett, I mean," Leto responded, stumbling over his words as he tried to wrap his head around the compliment, "My family is going to be here for a time so... I..." He paused a moment and looked down, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Without thinking, Garrett slid to the very side of the stairs and pat the place next to him. Leto hesitated a moment before sitting next to Hawke and looking to him, blushing a little more as he said, "I hope we can be friends, Hawke."

 

Garrett felt his heart grow light at those words. Friends.... with him... definitely. He nodded to Leto to say he hoped the same thing without words, because who knew what would come out of his mouth again if he tried to speak. 

 

Garrett smiled to Leto, and Leto smiled to him... and withing a single moment, Hawke could just _tell_ he and Leto were going to be great friends.


	3. It's complicated...

Garrett was over the moon with joy that Leto and him were friends. 

 

As the days went by, Leto and Garrett became closer and closer. Garrett showed him his favorite places in Lothering, from the place in the field with the blackberry bushes to the lake that Bethany completely froze over (He even gave a dramatic retelling of that, with motions and all. Leto had laughed so hard he cried when Garrett accidentally froze half of the lake in his retelling). They would even sit and talk about the most random things, from why leaves fell from the trees for winter to if mabari's could breath fire if you trained them to. It got easier for Garrett to speak with the elf as time went on, which he was relieved about. No more embarrassment in front of him. 

 

There were times when all they had time to do together was talk a walk around Lothering and speak of memories they had. As Garrett rambled about his mother's wonderful baking or his father's daring adventures from before he settled down with Leandra, he noticed that Leto would get this sparkle in his eye and a soft smile on his face. It showed that he was genuinely interested in what Garrett was saying, and Hawke gladly returned the favor whenever Leto would pratter on about his days fleeing from Tevinter, or in Tevinter. The elf would smile as he spoke upon noticing the brunette's expression, and it made Garrett feel like he was walking on air. He'd smile more... those were his favorite days, although their time together wasn't as long as he wished it was. 

 

Even though Garrett had magic practice with his father and chores to take care of, he always made time for Leto to do those things. Every day. It felt wrong not to. He'd do his chores as fast as possible and rush to the field to meet with Leto, or Leto would rush to meet him in the field to watch him finish his mage practices with Malcolm. Then they'd run off somewhere and either sit around and talk, or play some random game they made on the spot. Dragon hunting or two princes trying to rule a kingdom, with Hawke being so over dramatic, sarcastic, and making so many jokes that they had to stop to laugh at him ever five minutes. They enjoyed each other's company more than anything else.

 

Which is why their families became so accepting of each other. It was either Leto stayed for lunch or dinner at the Hawke household, or Garrett stayed for lunch or dinner at Leto's home. Carver looked up to Leto, and Varania looked up to Hawke as he did her own older brother. Bethany and Varania ended up becomes sort of friends, sort of enemies. Bethany, who was always refusing to admit how competitive she was, was always trying to one up Varania with her spells. She always did, since Varania didn't have proper training with her magic. Varania was always upset about this, and eventually, Garrett stepped in as her some-what teacher. He taught her basic spells, and some spells to one up Bethany, just to see what would happen. Let's just say that Bethany wasn't very happy about this. However, Leto and Varania's mother not only appreciated him helping Varania with her magic, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when he told her he was mentoring her in such things, but she seemed to be so appreciative of the status he now held in Leto's life. 

 

Leto also became a sort of mentor for one of the younger kids. He noticed Carver playing with his wooden warriors one day, and questioned if the younger boy had ever used or trained to use a real sword. When told no, he immediately ran home and grabbed his own sword. Garrett had never seen Carver so excited in his life as he was when Leto brought over his sword for the first time. From that day on, when Garrett taught Varania how to control her magic using his own knowledge on the spells himself, Leto would teach Carver how to use a two handed weapon. Granted, Carver had to use a stick, but he still had the most concentrated look on his face as Leto showed him how to stand, where to put his weight, and how to swing. Garrett loved watching the two practice. Watching how Leto treated his brother and taught him made him happy. Leto would look at him for short moments while showing Carver his skills, smiling the most gentle and caring smile... Garrett couldn't help but return it, feeling his heart skip a beat in his chest and butterflies flutter in his chest. 

 

Not only did Leto teach Carver how to properly use a sword, which, by the way, lessened Carver's attitude and made him seem happier during the days, but he played pretend with Bethany. Garrett often watched as Leto cupped his hands over his mouth and pretended to play a trumpet and announcing Bethany Hawke, Queen of Ferelden, was entering the facility. She would be wearing a flowercrown the older boy had made for her himself, holding her head high and smiling with such joy it looked like if she was any happier she'd just explode. The elf would bow down to her, and she'd giggle with giddiness. When he could, Garrett would cut in, asking if he was her knight in shining armor. Sometimes Bethany would say yes, other times she would say no, proclaiming that Leto or Carver was her knight in shining armor and not him. She'd tell him that he was her knight-in-not-so-shining armor to make him feel better afterwards. If it was Leto that was her knight, he would 'humbly give up his title to Garrett'. The oldest Hawke child would always blush when he did that, smiling and accepting as he felt endearment towards his best friend. 

 

Even though everything seemed perfect, and Garrett was content with his life, he couldn't help but wonder... what was the feeling he got whenever he thought of Leto? Why did he blush when Leto gave up his knight-in-shining-armor status for him while playing pretend with Bethany? Why did he feel like he was walking on air whenever Leto smiled? Was it normal for one to feel butterflies fluttering in their chest whenever the elf laughed? What was it...? He couldn't place his finger on it.

 

Apples made him realize what it was. 

 

There was a singular apple tree in the Hawke's large and spacious back yard on the outskirts of Lothering, one that Malcolm had planted just for him after learning he loved apples so much when he was younger. It had only recently grown ripe apples, even though some were still ripening. Garrett would take Leto to this tree every time they met up after supper. They would lean against the tree trunk and watch the sun dip down into the horizon, painting the sky with it's vivid oranges, pinks, purples, and reds. They would speak sparsely, too entranced by the sunset to truly want to speak a word. 

 

But this time, Garrett was too entranced by him to care much about the sunset. 

 

The way the sunset's light made Leto look almost ethereal, how his eyes stood out so much more in this lighting than it would during the day... He took a moment to look away, wondering if it was odd to be staring. After a moment's contemplation, Garrett looked at the apple in his hand, which he had climbed this very tree to get only minutes before now, and held it out to Leto. The elf didn't notice immediately, but when he did, he looked from the apple to Hawke, the blushed. He took the apple after a moment, smiling as he held it in both hands and looked at it happily. He knew for a fact it had taken Garrett several tries to get that apple from the tree. The perfect apple. Looking at Leto then, Garrett came to the realization that this feeling, this never ending joy and happiness and purest form of content he'd ever felt being with this boy, this wonderful elf right next to him, smiling at that apple... 

 

It was love.

 

The brunette's cheeks flushed red as he smiled, propping his elbow on his lap and leaning over to rest his head on his hand. Leto looked back at him and thanked him for the apple, and Garrett almost didn't get out his 'you're welcome' before it was long enough to have made the situation awkward. How much could a kid love someone else, that it felt like the whole world had somehow shifted, seeing him and finally knowing the word to place with this affection he felt, how Leto was a light in any dark place Garrett had ever held in his life? How much love could his young self contain for another, knowing that he might not return what he felt the same way he did? How could he know if he didn't tell him; how would he tell if this elf, this wonderful, beautiful elf felt this affection? Was it possible to look at someone and simply tell them 'I love you' without changing your entire relationship, whether for good or bad...?

 

He didn't know how to tell him...

 

So he didn't, and when he left the tree once Leto was called home and slowly made his way to bed that night, he couldn't tell if he regretted not knowing what to say. 


	4. Maker, I love you.

The next morning was complete agony. He stared at the table, lips tightened into a line, thinking about how he could tell Leto about how he felt. 

 

His feelings were obvious now, since he'd sat under the apple tree with Leto and handed him that apple. Love, love, love, love... the word kept running through his head. How do you express such a thing, without being so obvious? He couldn't go up to Leto and say "I love you"! Not straight up, at least... something had to lead into it. Make it so that the whole conversation to follow didn't feel odd or forced. 

 

_'Hey, Leto! How are you today...? Good, great, I'm...'_

 

No, absolutely no. Too casual... much too casual. 

 

_'Oh, hey, didn't see you there! I was just looking at... these...'_

 

No. That wouldn't work either. Where was he even going with that one?

 

Ugh! Romance was _hard!!!_

 

Garrett let out a frustrated groan, sliding his arms across the table until they were straight out, then laid his head onto the table. Why was it so hard to think about this? It had to go well, or things between him and Leto. This was the most difficult thing he'd ever done, believe it or not. Funny, really, that the hardest thing he could possibly think about doing is talking to his best friend. If only he was a smooth-talker. That would make everything easier. He'd know he could just step up to him and say something super suave and sweep Leto off his feet. But remembering their first conversation... he couldn't depend on his mind to make something up for him. He'd sputter and stumble over his words and probably end up crying from panicking over what he was saying so much. 

 

"There you are!" He heard his mother's voice, so he sat up immediately and looked in the direction of her voice. 

 

There she was, smiling to him and holding a small laundry basket. He turned himself in the chair to be facing her more as she spoke.

 

"Your father has been looking for you everywhere, Garrett!" Leandra said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as she looked at him.

 

Ah, yes. He'd evaded practices today to try and figure out what he was going to say to Leto when he saw him this afternoon. Of course his father would be looking for him. Then an idea popped into his head.. and he immediately rejected it, as he always did. He wasn't going to ask his parents for help on this matter. He'd thought about asking them all night, and all the results ended in embarrassment or complete failure. It would hurt more than do any good. So he sighed, gaze averting from that of his mother's.

 

"Well, well, well..." Malcolm said, swinging his head around the corner from outside and looking at Garrett with a smug grin, "Looks like someone is trying to ditch their training today."

 

Malcolm walked into the house, looking to Leandra, "Leandra, what are we going to do with the boy?"

 

"I..." Leandra paused a minute, obviously not ready to have even thought about giving Garrett a punishment, "I don't know, Dear..."

 

Malcolm's grin changed to a warm smile as he strode over to her in a way that made Leandra laugh a bit, saying, "Oh, well... in the meantime..."

 

Leandra gasped and laughed as Malcolm pulled her into his arms, pressing a kiss to her cheek before exclaiming triumphantly, "I'll just embarrass him! Poor kids hate watching their parents be 'gross', right?"

 

Garrett scrunched his nose disapprovingly, muttering, 'bleh!' under his breath as he grabbed onto the back of his chair. His father was truly a master of passive aggressive warfare. 

 

"M-Malcolm stop!!" Leandra laughed as Malcolm gave her kisses all over her face, "I-I have work to do!!"

 

Just that moment, right before he was going to admit defeat at the cringe-worthy display of parental affection, he noticed something. Maker preserve him, why hadn't he thought of that before?! 

 

Around his mother's wrist was a red ribbon. One that his father had given to her. It was a Hawke family tradition, his father had told him, to give that to the person you loved most. Obviously, that person had been Leandra. There had never been a day she hadn't worn that ribbon, whether it be around her wrist, her waist, in her hair to hold it back, or looped a few times into a necklace when she was too lazy to put it anywhere else. No matter how she wore it, she always wore it. 

 

How stupid was he, not to think of giving Leto one before?! It should have been easy to think of, being that his mother had hers every day. He would've been able to have spared himself from this terrible display of affection!

 

Garrett smiled. Finally, he knew what he was going to do! But where would he get a favor for Leto....? 

 

He looked around for a moment, thinking thoughtfully. There was a red towel in that laundry basket his mother held... but that would probably hurt after being rubbed against his wrist so much. That was a no, and he certainly couldn't take his mother's... His smile widened when he looked down at the red piece of cloth tied around his waist. Ah, perfect. It was even the same shade of red as his mother's. 

 

The young boy stood and went to the field near the forest. Where he'd first gotten a glance at Leto from behind a tree... he sighed a bit, tapping his foot as he wondered how exactly he should give the favor to Leto. More stupid complications for such an easy task. He couldn't stop thinking about it once Bethany and his father arrived there with him. His spells usually flunked, because his mind was elsewhere. His father was a bit confused about this, and tried to know what was wrong, but Garrett cleverly evaded his questionings. All he needed to do was get through the lesson and then... 

 

Before it was even over, there came Leto. He took his usual spot under the tree nearby, smiling to Garrett and waving. The brunette attempted to return the wave, but that made his spell mess up. It blew up in his face, causing a bit of his hair to stick up and ash to cover his face. Bethany fell into hysterics, laughing so hard she fell over. Malcolm simply laughed at him, taking a cloth from his pocket to wipe his face off with. Leto was laughing too, not as much as his family was, but still laughing. That made him blush and smile. At least when he messed up, it made the elf laugh. 

 

Practices lasted about an hour more, and it was the longest hour of his life. He knew Leto was sitting there, watching Bethany and him try to mimic their father's magic with intrigue. The more he thought about giving him the favor, having to explain what it meant, the heavier the red cloth around his waist felt. He was going to give it to Leto, he was going to do it, he was going to explain, he had to or he'd never forgive himself...

 

The hour ended once Bethany started crying over the fact her ice kept melting right after she cast the spell. Malcolm told Garrett he was taking her home, and to get home before sundown. He'd thanked his father, watching him walk off with Bethany. _Deep breaths, Garrett, deep breaths..._

 

He and Leto went about their normal business. Leto talked about his family and other things he'd found through the day, and Garrett listened somewhat closely. His mind still wandered. Leto said something about his mother and how he loved his mother. Garrett wanted to interject, give him the favor, but he didn't. Leto mentioned the blackberry bushes, and how he'd told his mother about them because she loved blackberries. _Now, give it to him._ No. He didn't give it to him. Garrett then spoke about his parents display in the kitchen, and saying how much his parents loved each other. Change the topic, blend it in, give him the favor now. He didn't. He talked about how Carver was very excited to have finally mastered that move Leto had taught him recently and how much he loved the little lessons Leto gave him on such matter. _Now's your chance, Romeo, do it now!_ He didn't do it right then.

 

The whole time they spent together, he kept trying to think of how to give him the favor. He could hardly think of anything other than that, so keeping a conversation with the elf was a bit difficult, but he managed. Surprisingly enough, if Leto suspected something was wrong, he didn't show it. That made Hawke feel a bit better, knowing his friend couldn't tell how nervous and anxious he was. 

 

As the sun began to dip into the sky, the pair made their way to the apple tree in the back yard. It was later than they usually did, but they still had to go there. They did every day, and today was no exception. 

 

Hawke then stopped in his tracks, allowing Leto to continue his way to the tree on his own. _Under this tree,_ the brunette thought, _right under this tree, the tree that made me realize I love him... this is where I'll give it to him._

 

He quickly unwrapped the red cloth from his waist, feeling his hands tremble with anxiousness as he did. Oh, Maker, this was either going to go horribly wrong of amazingly perfect... only one way to find out. 

 

He let out a deep breath to calm his nerves, shaking his hands a bit one he'd untied the cloth. When he'd stopped shaking, he made his way to the tree to join Leto.

 

"Garrett, what's wrong? Why did you--" Leto asked once he got there, seeming a bit worried until he felt Garrett's hand take his own. His face flushed red as he looked to Garrett.

 

"Leto," Garrett began, having to let out a breath before continuing, "These past few weeks have been more amazing that I could tell you. I never had many friends here in Lothering. There aren't very many kids around here. Just drunks, travelers, and some nice people tending to their land. It's hard to talk to adults that aren't your parents... so I've never had much company outside of my family. Then you happened, and I... I can't explain how wonderful it's been having you here, being able to talk to someone every day, make jokes, play games, fool around without knowing there's the watchful eye of my mom or my dad or one of my siblings on my back. I can just talk, say what's on my mind, and do the things I've never really gotten the chance to do and it's... it's all because of you." 

 

The brunette paused as he felt his face heat up, looking away from Leto's eyes and to the hand he was holding. He took the red cloth, draping it over his wrist. Then he began to lightly wrap it around, making sure he wouldn't cut off circulation to his hand. He did it with steady hands as he said, "My mother has a red ribbon she wears every day. I'm sure you've seen it. My dad told me that it was a Hawke family tradition to give a favor like that to..." He paused as he looked up to Leto, not being able to stop himself from smiling.

 

"To the person you love the most..."

 

If Leto was about to stop blushing, the red tint in his cheeks came back with a fury. Emerald eyes looked at him with surprise and a bit of confusion, but the elf smiled to him none the less. 

 

Garret turned his gaze back down to his wrist and the cloth, finishing up the knot to hold it in place. "Which is why I'm giving my favor to you."

 

There. He'd done it. 

 

Once again, he looked back to Leto. His smile had went back to a small frown, as if very concentrated on watching his movements. When he noticed Garrett wasn't tying the cloth anymore, he looked up to his friend. The brunette smiled, and in turn, Leto smiled. Leto smiled more than Garrett had ever seen him smile, and Garrett couldn't help but smile that much with him. What could he say, Leto's smile was contagious. 

 

Next thing he knew, Leto tackled him into a hug, holding him close and burying his face in his neck. Garrett returned the embrace tightly, shutting his eyes and laughing softly just a little bit. He'd never felt more relieved. His friend wasn't rejecting his favor, he was taking it... Maker, he loved him. Maybe, just maybe...

 

Maybe he was a smooth-talker after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> art here is obviously by earthprincewu! i just thought adding this little mini picture he posted today would just MAKE the chapter, if you know what i mean. i felt like it would be one of those major 'aww' moments or whatever... or that was just me. either way, LOOK AT IT!!! it's so adorable i cant


	5. Bothers and Worries

Leto and Hawke spent the rest of their time together under the apple tree, shoulder to shoulder, smiling like the huge dorks they were. Like the huge _happy_ dorks they were. It took Garrett a full five minutes to get the courage to sneak his hand over to Leto's to hold, and he couldn't help but laughs softly with pure giddiness when the elf tightened his grip on his hand a bit to show that yes, he did want to hold his hand. He even leaned his head onto the brunette's shoulder, which caused Garrett to nearly explode with pure joy. This was happening. _Right now_. This was a thing that was happening right at this very second. Leto had his head on his shoulder. Leto was holding his hand. These were only things he'd daydreamed at the dinner table when it was too quiet or when he sat on the porch watching his younger siblings. Now they were happening. _Right now_. He could scream to the world how happy he was.

 

But he didn't. He only whispered it to the boy beside him, who chuckled softly and responded, "I'm happy, too."

 

That was the last thing they said to each other under the apple tree after the sun had fallen and the moon had risen, starts dotting the sky and lighting the night. Hawke offered to walk Leto home, and he had accepted the offer because honestly, he didn't want to leave Garrett at all. He'd spend all the time he could with the other boy. But, of course, their families were expecting them back. They took their sweet time, swinging their arms and taking long, slow strides to stall getting Leto home. They knew it was inevitable that they'd get there, but they'd take their damn time getting there. 

 

So parting was such sweet sorrow. Right at the corner of Leto's little house, they stood there for a few more minutes speaking a bit and holding each other's hands. They kept their eyes on each other, not knowing what else to but knowing that they didn't want to leave. It was Garrett that eventually made them part, saying that Bethany would throw a fit if he wasn't there to tell her a bedtime story. He always told her the best stories at night, right off the top of his head, and she always got mad when he didn't tell one to her. With a soft sigh, he let go of one of Leto's hands. He let his grip become light on the other, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to the back of his hand, the one with the favor on the same wrist, then let the elf's hand slide from his own. 

 

Then he turned, and reluctantly left with a small wave. 

 

Leto returned the wave, blushing. He felt like he was floating. Could this be real? Could he... could he have finally felt a place that felt like home? After all their time moving and running for Maker knows what reason, had he finally found the place that felt just right? It felt so right now, with Hawke being there and them going to the apple tree every sunset to watch the sky shift its colors... the walks along the streets of the small town, watching Mr. Hawke teach Bethany and Garrett magic... 

 

Yes. This was home. Lothering was home. Yes, Lothering was home, but something else... 

 

The elf looked down to his wrist, to where Garrett had kissed his hand. He blushed more, if that was possible, and he found that missing piece.

 

Home was where _Garrett was._

 

He smiled more, feeling the endearment he had for the brunette wash over him like a wave, and he couldn't help but sigh as he walked back inside his house in a daze. Maker, he loved him. He made everything seem ok...

 

Leto went to his bed and practically leaped onto it, landing flat on his stomach and hugging a pillow. He shut his eyes for a moment, wondering if he'd wake up and it would all be a dream, but the only thing that 'woke him up' was Varania jumping onto the bed. 

 

"You're finally home!" She exclaimed happily, settling in in front of him.

 

Her older brother nodded a bit, moving the pillow off to the side and propping up his elbow on the bed, then his head on his hand. He smiled to his sister, and she smiled back before a look of confusion came across her face. 

 

"What's this, Leto?" She asked, gently swatting one of the loose ends of Hawke's favor that hung from his wrist. 

 

"Oh!" Leto exclaimed, practically beaming when she mentioned it. He tucked the loose ends back into the rest of the wrappings and began to explain the story behind the favor. Varania ended up beaming just as much as him, and she seemed extremely happy for him. They went back and forth quickly, full of excitement and happiness at the current situation they were in. It seemed like everything was perfect for them both, what with Varania finally learning how to control her magic from Garrett and Leto receiving his favor. Life was good... life was happy. 

 

"Children," They heard from behind them, which broke off their happy rambling. Each of the elves turned and looked to their mother, who frowned deeply and looked a little bit... guilty. 

 

Guilty? 

 

"We.. need to talk," She said, looking down and clasping her hands behind her back.

 

"About what?" Varania asked, turning so she was sitting on the edge of the bed and facing her mother. 

 

"I..." Their mother paused, sighing and muttering to herself before saying, "I think w-we... we need to leave... soon." 

 

"Mother, you can't be serious!" Leto exclaimed, pure annoyance coating his words. Again? The needed to leave AGAIN?! Why couldn't they stay here in Lothering? What had Lothering ever done to her aside from give her a perfect place to live and a wonderful community to be a part of?

 

"I'm quite serious, Leto."

 

"Why?! We've been happy here! We have friends here, good people who---"

 

"Leto,  _please_ dont start this again---"

 

"No, mother, listen--"

 

" _Leto!_ " 

 

Varania simply looked at her brother, as if to silently tell him to hush. He did, jaw tightened, eyes narrowed, and frowning. 

 

"We.. I simply think that we need to keep moving until we find some place to call home," Leto's mother stammered until she came up with something to say, and he could tell she was trying to come up with some reasoning. 

 

"You're avoiding the truth, mother," Leto hissed, sitting up on the bed and crossing his arms. 

 

"I-I'm not, Leto, just listen--"

 

"I have been listening mother!"

 

"Then you must understand that we have to leave!"

 

"We ALWAYS have to leave! We never have to stay, we always have to LEAVE! We find somewhere to stay and we stay and we stay until you say this place 'isn't our home' and then we travel for days on end until we come across another random town that's not even on the map and we stay there until you come to the same conclusion! Why do we keep leaving?! Where is home to you?! We've probably been all over Thedas by now and you can't seem to find somewhere that makes you happy! You're always afraid and paranoid when there's nothing to be worried or paranoid about in the first place!" Leto was up on his feet now, pacing back and forth. 

 

Varania pulled her feet up onto the bed so she could hug her knees as her mother said, "L-Leto--"

 

"No! Don't even try to convince me that's not what you're doing! You're running from everything!" Her son continued, "You're not happy here, you're not happy there, you're not happy there, or there, or there, or there! Where will you be happy?! When will you be happy?!" 

 

"I am happy, Leto, but - but we must--"

 

"We must _WHAT?!_ Is _THAT_ what you're running from?! Happiness?! What's wrong with being happy?! I'm happy! Varania's happy! You're happy! If we're all happy, then _WHY ARE WE RUNNING?!_ " 

 

His mother was silent so he stood there, fuming with fists clenches so tightly he knew he'd draw blood from the palms of his hands if he held them any tighter. 

 

"I don't want to run anymore!" He felt tension leave his body as spoke again, "I'm tired of running! I... Mother, _this_ is my home! Right there! Lothering is my home...! I don't... I don't want to leave.. I want to stay here! If you want to run then RUN, Mother, take Varania and RUN but I'm NOT RUNNING ANYMORE!" 

 

"No, no, no I can't leave you here by yourself Leto I can't--" His mother started to panic a bit now, and he could tell, but right now, he couldn't care any less about her panic. 

 

"You very well can! I can stay with Garrett, and you and Varania can go and we can all have what we want! I don't have to run anymore! I have nothing to run from! I'm sick of having to abandon everything and start over! I'm done! I'm done and I'm NOT LEAVING LOTHERING!" 

 

"Leto please don't!" His mother warned, tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she moved towards him to try and see if she could reason with him someway, somehow...

 

"Don't touch me!" Leto hissed at her, moving back from her then storming out of the room and ultimately, out of the house. As soon as his feet hit the dirt, he was off running to.. somewhere. Somewhere in Lothering, that is. His mother was calling after him in a panic, and it didn't take her long to give up on yelling. She didn't follow him either, which he was alright with. He ended up going to the field, the one that Garrett and Bethany trained in. He plopped himself down in the grass, huffing as he laid back. He kept his gaze on the sky, wondering if he could really just stay here and... and not leave with them. For once he could just stay somewhere and call it a home. 

 

They'd argued over this so many times that it seemed to escalate faster and faster each time the discussion was had. Sometimes he wondered why he didn't immediately start screaming. He could if he wanted to, but he never did. He always gave her the chance to make up excuses, and more excuses, and MORE EXCUSES! She was hiding something from them, and he knew she was. She could just tell them! Surely he and Varania would understand, right? There had to be some logical explanation for why she wants to keep running. It couldn't be happiness, though in all honesty, he wouldn't be too shocked if she used that as her excuse next time they 'had' to leave. 

 

He tried to push it out of his mind as he shut his eyes, wanting to fall asleep in the fresh air to try and forget. He didn't want to go back home. Not now.

 

* * *

 

 

He woke up with a small groan when the sun was up, not minding the slight ache in his back. He was used to it by now, having slept on the grass on the way to Lothering when they first arrived. Leto stood no problem, stretching his back a bit to loosen up the joints. The sky was a light blue, and by the looks of it, Garrett should be up. He... wouldn't be inconveniencing him by visiting earlier than usual instead of going home, right? 

 

So the elf made his way to the Hawke home, seeing Carver and Bethany playing outside like they usually were. Carver had a stick and was pretending to fight some invisible person using the moves Leto had taught him, and Bethany was playing with his wooden soldiers. From what he heard from her as he walked past, they were Grey Wardens defeating the Blight, and she was one of them. He couldn't help but smile a bit at that. 

 

Garrett, of course, was on the porch watching them so Leandra could do her work inside and so Malcolm could go around town to make sure everything was alright with everyone else. Malcolm was kind like that, always helping others out if they needed it. Especially the old woman that lived closest to them, who always seemed to have difficulties with washing her clothes or dishes. Malcolm usually did those things for her. It was nice of him, really. 

 

"Hey, Leto! You're here pretty early," Garrett said, eyes sparkling with happiness from seeing him so early in the morning. 

 

"Yes well... I..." Leto blushed a bit, smiling a little as he said, "I didn't want to wait until later this afternoon." 

 

"That's alright. We can take a walk, if you want. Mother said I didn't have to watch them today if I didn't want to. She's actually around the corner washing clothes, so she has her eyes on them too. She wouldn't mind if I left for a while." 

 

"That sounds lovely," The elf responded, nodding a little and moving to the side so Garrett could stand. 

 

They took their usual route, but Leto didn't talk as much as Hawke did. The brunette rambled and prattered on about his family and what happened when he wasn't around. Just the mention of it brought Leto back to what happened the night before. Maker, he was harsh on her, wasn't he? But then again, she kept moving them and never gave them the real reason why. Wasn't Varania upset about it? Why didn't she seem to care as much as he did? A bitter expression took over his features, and he looked off to the side a bit as he thought. What was his mother running from? Why was she running in the first place? What caused her to have to run? Why did she take him and his sister with her? She could trust Garrett's parents to take care of him, couldn't she? 

 

"Uh... Leto?" He heard, which snapped him out of it. Garrett had stopped, looking over to him with concern, "Is everything ok?"

 

Leto felt his face heat up and his body stiffen as he broke his gaze away from Hawke's. Oh no, he'd made Hawke worry. He couldn't worry Garrett with this. He just couldn't. "Yeah, I'm fine... It's just..."

 

He paused, then became flustered because he had paused. Maker just say something!

 

"Uh... it's nothing actually. Just keep talking, don't mind me, Garrett. What was that about Carver? Tell that story again please I was just distracted by all the mud and stuff here. There's a lot of mud here, Garrett - Ferelden is really muddy--" He stammered, nearly tripping over some of his words as his slightly embarrassed slightly panicked self tried to get Garrett off the subject.

 

All he was Garrett's hand cupping his cheek and the taller boy shushing him. He smiled and laughed just a little bit, "Pffft... just relax. Honestly, you sound like me when we first met." 

 

Leto couldn't help but smile and blush at that.

 

"If you swear everything is ok, then I believe you," Garrett told him truthfully.

 

"It is," Leto responded.

 

"Then great!" Hawke's hand grabbed his own as he continued to speak, "Let's go. Oh, My mom said you could come over tonight for dinner." 

 

"Sounds perfect..."  

 

Yes, they could keep walking and he could go to Hawke's hose for dinner. No confrontations with Varania and his mother... that really did sound perfect right now. 

 

So, hand in hand, he walked aimlessly around Lothering with Garrett. 


	6. Breaking, but not Healing

Once Leto had been brought home that night by Garrett, his mother wouldn't speak to him. She only looked at him, her expression showing only worry and regret. He knew she didn't want to leave. He could tell. If she didn't want to leave, then why did she want to move on so quickly? Just thinking about their argument again made his blood boil, and he simply huffed before leaving the room. He found the most secluded place in their house to sleep, away from Varania and away from his mother. He wanted nothing to do with his family, not now at least. True, V hadn't done a thing to him, but the fact she didn't try and fight them moving on at all was infuriating. Must he always be the one to express his distaste of running from nothing so often? He knew his little sister hated running too, but why wouldn't she say anything about it? If she just spoke up for once, maybe they could have convinced her to stay.

 

Of course Leto was going to try and bring the subject again when morning came and they were all seated at the table, but his mother managed to get words in before he could.

 

"Children, we _need_ leave tonight. This is not up for debate," His mother stated, making sure both Leto and Varania had been settled in and had eaten some of what she had put on the table before speaking, "I thought you should know so you have time to prepare."

 

Varania frowned but nodded, continuing to eat but slower now, upset by the news.

 

Leto's reaction was far different from hers, to put it lightly. His jaw tightened, his eyes narrowed, and a low growl left him involuntarily. He pushed his chair away from their small table with a shove violent enough to move the table, standing from his seat and setting his gaze right onto his mother's. She looked afraid... hurt, apologetic. 

 

Her feelings got drowned by his rage. He let her know that, and she gave him a half-assed glare. It only made his own gaze more venomous and cruel before he got up from his chair and left the house. He took his sword with him, just to be able to let out some steam.

 

His feet carried him to the field, as they normally did, and he took a moment to catch his breath. Then he drew his blade properly and moved towards a tree, raising his weapon. He started hacking at the trunk in vain, as if it would really get rid of all the anger he felt for the whole situation, what would come of it, what would be the result of it. 

 

Leto would leave. Garrett wouldn't be told. How much would Garrett hurt, going to his house on the outskirts of town and finding it abandon, all traces of them gone? How much would Leto regret it; how much would he hurt knowing Garrett missed him? What would Garrett tell Leandra, Malcolm, Bethany, and Carver? How would they react? How much would they try to comfort him, only to be pushed away by Garrett because the only thing he wanted was to know what happened, if everything was _really_ ok, if _Leto_ was _really, **TRULY** ok?_

 

That's when Leto dropped his sword. That's when his anger became grief of a future that hadn't happened yet. It's when the walls he hid his more powerful emotions behind broke, and he cried. Crying seemed strange to him now, as he hadn't done it for the sake of V and his mother in the past as they ran, trying to look strong and in control of himself so they knew it alright and would be alright. It was so they wouldn't worry about him and feel the need to fuss over him instead of take care of themselves. But at this point, he couldn't help it. He had finally found a place he loved, a place he could call home, and someone to share that home with that knew him better than anyone. It was going to be ripped away from him. That was the thing that hurt most in the whole situation.

 

He sat himself down right underneath the tree, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them. He still cried, feeling his shoulders shake with his rugged breaths. Maybe that was why he was so angry about it. Garrett. Garrett meant too much to him to hurt him in any way. He couldn't do it. He couldn't do it, not anymore at least. Never had he felt this close to someone, this _in love with someone_ , and he couldn't just leave it behind. Leto couldn't hurt Garrett. It felt too cruel.

 

"Leto?"

 

Varania's voice came softly, worry coating her words. Mother had sent her to find him, no doubt. 

 

"Leave me alone, Varania," He hissed, hearing his voice crack and cringing at the very sound of how weak he seemed to sound.

 

"But--"

 

"Varania, take my sword home and leave me alone!"

 

"Leto, I don't want to!"

 

"VARANIA!"

 

His sister fell silent for a few short moments before she picked his sword up off the ground, only to move it off to the side a bit more. She sat down with him, looking up at the sky through the leaves while Leto tried to stop his tears. 

 

"Leto, I don't want to leave either. Garrett's nice, and he teaches me how to use my magic. Bethany and Carver are nice too. Everyone here is nice, and that's a good thing. But mom knows best, and we should listen to her. I don't like seeing you fight with her. I don't like seeing you both upset. I just want us to all get along and be happy... and if that means leaving Lothering without a word, then we need to. I'm sure mother won't keep you from Garrett forever. Besides, maybe when you're old enough, you can come back here to Garrett on your own and explain everything... there's a good side to this, Leto, I'm sure of it. You just have to let yourself find it," Varania spoke finally, crossing her arms as she looked at him.

 

"Don't you think I've tried to see good in this V? Everytime we've ran, I've tried to see something good in it, but the only results are negative. You can only run for so long before you run out of breath. I've run out of breath here, V, and now that I have a reason to stay, I don't ever want to catch it," Leto sighed, wiping his eyes.

 

Varania didn't reply for a moment, letting his words sink in for a moment before speaking once more, "I understand, I guess. I know you won't change your mind. But please consider trying to, ok? For me?"

 

"No promises can be made."

 

No response. He only heard her shifting around. When he looked to her, she had his sword in her hand, carrying it away as she walked home. He let out a sigh and rested his forehead on his knees once she left his range of sight, and he stayed there until he nearly fell asleep there. It was then he dragged himself to his feet and went to Garrett's. Even though he wasn't at his best, he still wanted to see him. 

 

When he arrived at the Hawke household, the twins weren't outside. There was only Garrett, sitting on the porch and reading. He seemed quite intrigued, but the brunette was easily interrupted by Leto's approach. Garrett smiled to him, but only for a moment. The smile faded and the book was shut. His hand reached out and ever so gently took hold of his own, his touch gentle and caring as he brought him over to him, letting him sit beside him on the porch steps. Then his arm draped around him, pulling him closer to give him comfort. Leto leaned his head onto the other's shoulder, letting out a sigh as he shut his eyes. The two stayed like this a good while, and at some point, Garrett had picked up his book again and began to read it to him out loud. Leto paid attention best he could, but in only a few minutes, he had already forgotten what the book was even about. 

 

Of course, they were interrupted by Malcolm, telling Garrett to come inside for dinner. When Garrett's father saw Leto, however, he invited the elf inside as well. Leto didn't want to leave, so he accepted the offer and stayed to eat. Once again, him and Garrett didn't talk much; they only sat next to each other and held hands while they ate. It wasn't exactly uncommon for them to do such a thing, but it felt different to Leto now. The moment felt more precious. This was the last time he would hold Garrett's hand at the dinner table like this, wasn't it? His mother said tonight. He could disobey and not go home, which seemed like the most favorable option, but something told him it was a bad idea. Even if he wanted to ignore it, Garrett was offering to walk him home. If he said no, Garrett would suspect something was wrong. He didn't want to make him worry. Not anymore that he was already, anyways. 

 

So together, hand in hand, the two left Garrett's house and began the trek back to his own. Leto tried to make him walk as slowly as possible. He did, thankfully, take his pace, lacing his fingers in between his own with only the utmost care. Leto could only sigh and smile a bit at how much Garrett seemed to care, how much he knew he loved him, and how much care he put into everything he did with him. With a swift but careful motion, he pulled Garrett's arm around his shoulders to be closer to him, moving one hand up to hold onto his. Garrett chuckled softly at that, smiling and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Leto couldn't help but smile more now, blushing slightly. Today seemed to have turned out a bit better than he'd thought, now that Garrett was at his side. When Garrett finally broke their silence, beginning a conversation about the most random topic in the world, Leto couldn't have been more glad to have Garrett with him. It distracted him, kept his mind off of what his mother and sister had said. He could enjoy himself without any worried as Garrett told him jokes and about how his day had been, occasionally stopping them to point out a constellation he noticed at random as the stars began to come into the sky. It was nice, until they ended up at his house. 

 

Garrett turned Leto towards him, giving him a gentle smile as he spoke. 

 

"Hey, I don't know what happened today, and you don't have to tell me at all, but I want you to know that it'll all be ok and I'm here for you whenever you need me. No matter what, I'll remain at your side. Remember that, ok?" The brunette asked, putting his hand on Leto's cheek and making sure emerald green eyes resting on his own.

 

Leto leaned into Garrett's hand a bit as he responded, "I will... and I will remain at your side, as always too." 

 

Garrett's smile grew as he nodded, kissing Leto's forehead before moving away from him a little bit. "Goodnight, Leto."

 

"Goodnight, Garret." 

 

With that, the two turned away from each other and parted ways. Garrett made his way down the path back home while Leto peaked around the corner into his house. Unfortunately, the door creaked open a bit and drew his mother's attention to his presence. Leto cursed the squeaky hinges of the door as he stepped inside.

 

"Leto," His mother started firmly, already showing she wasn't going to take his attitude anymore, "I told you we needed to leave tonight."

 

"Guess I 'forgot'," Leto stated begrudgingly, rolling his eyes as he walked past her.

 

His mother rose to her feet, "Leto, this isn't up for discussion, we're---"

 

Leto stopped and turned on his heel to glare at her. "We're discussing it now."

 

"Leto, listen to me," Her hands went to her hips as she spoke, "We have to leave, now. _I'm doing this to protect you_. Everything I've done is to protect you!"

 

"Protect us from what??? What are we running from? Why can't we just stay and be happy for once? V and I have put up with leaving with no explanation for so long and I'm tired of it!"

 

"I don't have to explain what I've done for you, Leto. Not right now. Now go get packed up while I go get your sister. We're leaving."

 

" ** _Fine_**." 

 

Leto once again walked past her, but went towards the door, "If you're so intent on leaving --" 

 

He was outside once again, following the path away from home, "-- then you can leave without me, because I'm staying here."

 

He let himself slowly pick up pace as he heard his mother calling his name in both anger and worry. He didn't look back.


	7. I Apologize

Garrett had a smile on his face as he strode away from Leto's home. Every time he was with Leto, he couldn't help but feel blissful upon their departure. The elf just made him happy. He swore he even had a slight skip to his step. Sure, there were still some things he wished Leto would tell him, such as what was going on in his household that was upsetting him so much, but he shouldn't pry on it. No need to force information out of him he didn't want to give. Garrett would give him some time, just wait until he was ready. Maybe he could convince him to share a little on his own accord, but if it got really bad, then he'd ask.

 

"Garrett!!!" 

 

The brunette stopped dead in his tracks at the sound of his name, eyes opening and looking straight ahead for a few short moments before realizing who had spoke. He turned and saw none other than Leto sprinting towards him. Worry immediately overtook him, knowing that he'd just left Leto at his house and he was already coming back to his side. 

 

"Leto...?" He asked, trying not to sound too concerned for the elf's sake as he took a few steps towards him, "What are you..."

 

Leto jumped into his arms, nearly knocking him over as he wrapped his arms tightly around him. Garrett was a little bit shocked at first, but quickly returned the embrace to draw him closer. 

 

"Did..." Leto began, letting out a breath in attempt to steady his ragged breathing, "Did you know you walk way too fast...?"

 

"I-- what? What are you doing? Why aren't you home?" Garrett asked, taking a moment before putting his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders and moving him away to look him in the eyes, "Are you ok? No offense, but you don't really look it..." 

 

Silence.

 

"Leto...?"

 

The only response he got this time was green eyes averting their gaze and a frown.

 

"Leto... You can talk to me about anything... but if you're not ok you need to go home and rest---"

 

"NO!" Leto shouted, quickly stepping back a step or two so Garrett's hands would drop off his shoulders.

 

Garrett couldn't help but jump at the sudden and loud response. The shock and slight fear on his face immediately made Leto's expression change from one of defiance to hurt and regret.

 

"Garrett, just... trust me, I can't go home right now," Leto continued, a tear he didn't even realize was there run down his cheek, "I just want to be with you, right now..." 

 

Garrett was more than worried, and he was sure it showed on his face. At this point, it was hard not to worry. Leto was crying and he was insisting he couldn't go home. What could be more worrying than that? Regardless, Garrett smiled as much as he could through his concern and stammered out, "A-Alright." He moved over to Leto, lifting a hand to wipe away the stray tear that still rolled down to his chin. 

 

"Let's just... take a walk. My mom will probably look for me at your house." Leto sighed as Garrett draped an arm over his shoulders.

 

"Alright..." Garrett agreed, pausing a moment before adding, "Just promise me we can talk about what's wrong."

 

"Alright."

 

So, they did just as they said they would. Once Leto took hold of the hand Garrett had over his shoulder, they took a slow pace, about the same pace they had taken getting Leto home, and said nothing. Well, next to nothing. They had occasional conversation that only lasted about five minutes each, but had long moments of almost painful silence in between. Garrett hated them. He wanted Leto to talk to him, to cheer up, but he didn't want to speak. He only wanted to walk with him, hold his hand, and glare into the darkness. His voice sounded more bitter than hurt now, and it almost pained him to listen to it and not know how to make him feel better. He tried to convey this by pulling Leto a little closer, by pressing gentle kisses to the top of his head, by looking at Leto and blatantly showing his concern to him, but he just wouldn't speak to him. He wouldn't even look at him most times, which hurt the most. 

 

Leto could talk to him. Leto could tell him what was wrong, and he could let him help make it better. The only problem was that he wasn't letting him. 

 

After Maker only knows how long, they stopped by a fence a long bit away from Lothering. Leto moved out of his half-embrace and turned to lean against the fence, crossing his arms and looking to the ground. Wow, broody much? Garrett sighed softly before looking to the moon to try and judge the time as he leaned over and put his arms against the railings to support his weight. Had they really been walking for almost an hour? It hadn't seemed like THAT long... alright it had, actually. Maybe even longer than that, really.

 

"So," Garrett began, because he knew they had to talk about it eventually, "We've walked for nearly an hour now and you've still told me nothing. Don't leave me hanging here, L." When he was once again met with silence, he frowned and glanced over to Leto. "You promised." 

 

"My mom and I fought," Leto spat, shoulders tensing as he even mentioned it.

 

"Yeah, you already said tha--"

 

"I'm starting at the beginning, Garrett," When Garrett fell silent, he continued to speak, "I just... I don't know what's wrong with her. But she's not listening to me or how I feel about anything and we keep blowing up at each other because of it."

 

"What were you fighting about?"

 

"Nothing I want to share."

 

"Ok well, kinda hard since I'm in the dark, but she probably just cares about you a lot and is being a overbearing." 

 

"Pfft, a little? She always does this. Things go fine for a while then she freaks out and makes us---" Leto fell silent, realizing what he was about to say. No. He couldn't tell Garrett that. That wasn't something Garrett needed to know... he couldn't know. 

 

"Makes you what...?" Garrett asked softly, standing up straight.

 

"Nothing," Leto replied as he stood flat on his feet as well, "The point is I'm not going back so in terms of family, I'm alone."

 

There was a long pause before Garrett spoke up, his tone sure and loving.

 

"... You have me, Leto."

 

The elf blushed brightly, eyes widening a little as Garrett became embarrassed.

 

"Uh... H-hah, I mean, if you need me," He stammered, his own cheeks flaring red with how flustered he was before he gained his composure, "But even so, I still think you should go back and talk to her. Family isn't just something you should be so willing to give up. In the end, they're always the ones looking out for you."

 

Leto fell silent at his words, looking down at the ground beneath their feet. There was truth to what he said, but should he go talk to her? If they got on common ground, she would still make him leave. No matter what, he knew they would be leaving. Why, he would more than likely never know, but he couldn't say no if he went back. Should he go? Should he really go...? 

 

"... You're right...." Leto's response came barely above a whisper. _How do you say goodbye without him knowing you don't mean 'I'll see you tomorrow'?_

 

"Hah! I usually am. It's a talent. So, do you need me to walk you back?" Garrett asked, smiling. _How much will he miss that smile?_

 

"No... it's fine. I just..." _'I just want to tell you I love you before I'm gone' is what he wanted to say._

 

"Alright then--!" 

 

"Come here." _Hopefully the didn't notice the crack in his voice and the tears in his eyes._

 

Leto reached over to Garrett before he could turn and walk away. He grabbed his shirt and yanked him back to him, putting a hand on the back of his neck to draw him in. His other hand took hold of Garrett's upper arm, to keep him there as he pressed his lips against the brunette's. He felt himself blush as his eyes shut, and he felt the tears he'd been trying to hold back fall. He could tell Garrett was surprised, but after a short moment, he felt arms around his waist and the gesture being returned. That made this whole situation hurt more. _This will never happen again. He will be gone._

 

Before he made it worse by staying in Garrett's embrace, _the embrace he will never feel again, the embrace that will leave the air around him feeling cold when he walks away,_ he shoved Garrett away almost violently. He felt himself glare at nothing, nothing but himself in all honesty, as he noticed the blush dusting Garrett's pale cheeks and the huge, dorky grin he wore so happily. 

 

"H-Hah... Leto, I--" Garrett started, but Leto cut him off sharply and abruptly.

 

"I apologize." _I apologize for this. I apologize for getting close to you. I apologize for making you feel so strongly towards me. I apologize I felt the same to you. I apologize for leaving. I apologize for everything you will have to go through because of me._

 

"Wh-what...?"

 

"I... apologize..." 

 

Leto turned and began to walk away before Garrett could see the tears that began to run down his face faster and before he could hear the way his voice strained with the effort of keeping him from knowing how much this hurt. He heard Garrett calling out to him, which only made his pace quicken and his chest tighten. It was then he let out a choked sob, moving a hand up to his mouth to try and muffle the sound. This was the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life, hands down. Leaving Garrett was the hardest thing he'd done, and possibly the hardest thing he ever would do. Knowing this would hurt him just made it worse.

 

Regardless... he went home.

 

* * *

 

 

The night passed, and Garrett had went home confused and a bit upset. He had so many questions that weren't answered, and he couldn't stand them not being answered. Why had Leto apologized? What had his mother been fighting about that ended so badly he cried? What did she make him and Varania do? Had they settled things out at all...?

 

He didn't wait for Leto to come to his house that morning. He went through his normal morning routine, but instead of sitting on the porch to watch Bethany and Carver, he asked his mother if he could go to Leto's. As always, she let him. He thanked her and walked to their house faster than usual, but not fast enough for it to seem weird that he was over so early in the morning. 

 

When he arrived, Garrett stepped up to the door and knocked. When he got no response, he knocked again. Still nothing. He took a moment before simply entering the house himself after checking if the door was unlocked.

 

But, dear Maker, he would have never been prepared for what he saw when he poked his head inside. 

 

Their small table they ate at had been completely flipped over, their plates, silverware, and cups all scattered about around or under it. The food they'd been eating and the water they'd been drinking had been strewn about. One of the chairs had been crushed and splintered under the weight of it, the other thrown in odd places, seemingly causing some of the dents in the wall. The cabinet they kept their very few belongings in had been knocked over, and one of the doors was barely hanging onto it's hinge. All of their things were still inside, if not pulled out and thrown across the room laying half in the spilled water. The bed had been completely unmade, the mattress half off the bed. The small widows in that room had been broken. Glass was shattered everywhere, and wood splinters from furniture and the house itself littered the floor and left almost no place blank of the destruction that happened there. 

 

If that didn't panic Garrett enough, there was one thing that stood out among all of the carnage that sparked his panic more than anything.

 

His favor, laying across the floor, half in a puddle of water. 

 

Garrett felt his heart rate speed up along with his breathing as he reached a shaky hand down to pick it up and hold it in his hands, watching the wet end drip excess into the puddle. 

 

"Leto...?" 

 

He... he had to be here. Hiding. From whatever did this, he had to be hiding, right?

 

"Leto?!" 

 

Garrett held the favor tightly in his hand as he began to search anywhere any of them could have hidden in a flurry of panic and tears. Now he was simply adding to the poor state of the home by throwing things around in attempt to find someone in Leto's family, anyone who could tell him what happened and that Leto was ok, that Leto was fine, that he wasn't---

 

" _LETO!_ "

 

His vision was blurred with more than just tears now, what with his breathing being so rugged that he didn't feel like his feet were even touching the floor. He ran back out the front door and as far as he could run behind their house, looking for any sign of Leto or his family, wishing, hoping, praying that there would be something to show him where they'd went and what happened. There was nothing. Then there was more nothing, nothing, nothing, and more _NOTHING_.

 

" ** _LETO!!!!_** "

 

Garrett finally stopped. He just stopped, dropped to his knees, and cried. He looked at the favor he'd given Leto and cried. He cried until he couldn't anymore, until his throat felt dry and his voice was hoarse. He cried until he felt nothing; until everything he could have possibly felt was replaced by numbness and all he could do was stare at the favor gently laying in his hands. It was all he could do as he tried to get a grip on reality again, which he didn't exactly do at all when he stood up to go home. He didn't want to be near this place anymore. It only hurt to see.

 

His movements were sluggish, as if he were in a sort of trance. It still didn't feel real, he didn't want to think it was real, but it was. The favor, which felt heavy in his hand, told him so. There was nothing he could do that could get him to forget this now. There was nothing he could to forget that the last time he'd ever see Leto was with tears running down his face, that the last thing he'd ever remember Leto saying was 'I apologize'. He hated it. He hated it more than anything else he'd ever felt even an inkling of hatred towards. But at least it was a memory of him, something he could hold close to his heart and remember him for and never forget. It was all he could do at this point, right? Who knows how long Leto and his family had been gone since the complete destruction of their house. 

 

Now he was in his yard, Bethany and Carver pausing their playing to look at him. Bethany, of course, was the one to stand up and run over to him, asking, "Garrett, are you ok?"

 

"No, Bethany," Garrett responded softly, hearing the scratchiness of his voice and not even knowing if it was really his voice or not.

 

He walked past her, and didn't stop to say hello to his mother on his way past. He didn't go anywhere but the apple tree. He looked at it, putting a hand on the trunk before looking up into it's branches and the fruit it bore. He contemplated a moment before climbing it, finding the perfect apple. He picked it, went back down the tree, then sat. He looked at the sky in silence, holding the apple in one hand and the favor in the other. His eyes lingered on then then switched to the other, keeping this in a continuous cycle until the sight of the two things brought tears into his eyes and he felt his lip quiver. What happened to his family, to _him?_ Where had they gone? Who had destroyed their house? Would he ever see Leto again? 

 

Was Leto dead?

 

The young boy brought his knees to his chest, putting down the apple beside him. He buried his face in his knees as he hugged then tightly, trying to contain himself and get a grip. It was difficult. It was very very difficult. He cried once more, but not as much as he did at Leto's. The sense that all reality was gone weighed on him again, and he was trying to believe this was real, but he didn't want to. He didn't want to believe Leto was gone. He wanted this to all be a dream that he would wake up from in the morning, where he would REALLY go see Leto, where he would be safe and ok. Leto would be with him. That's all he wanted.

 

Garrett didn't move even when he heard his footsteps behind him. He didn't lift his head when his father spoke. 

 

"Garrett... I won't make you talk about this if you're not ready. I don't want you to feel pressured to talk about it. I brought a few pieces of bread and some water, as well as your pillow and a blanket. You don't even need to come inside if you don't want to. All you need to know, son, is that we're all here for you, and that it will be ok. _It will be ok_. I promise," He said, voice soft and gentle as he set down what he had brought, "Goodnight."

 

Malcolm left without another word, and Garrett knew it was because he wanted to give him space. He appreciated that. Although his mind lingered on what he'd said first. _"I won't make you talk about this if you're not ready"_. It was a topic he didn't want to dwell on, yet he couldn't stop dwelling on. Would he ever really be ready to talk about it?

 

No. Turns out he would never be ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has drained me emotinally. i have hurt myself with my own angst. 
> 
> the kid era is over now. next, the canon era of the au begins.


End file.
